One of the things we learned at our marriage retreat is something we already knew. It is so important to not neglect your spouse so you can take care of your children! Your spouse should always come first!
For a long time now, my sweet husband has insisted we have date night. We are so blessed to have parents who want to watch our babies which allows Jake and I to go out once a week.
Jake used to work second shift and we weren't able to have a night out, but he has been on days for about year. Our date night consists of dropping off the kids (nursing babies go with Momma) around 5:30, dinner and usually some type of shopping/errands. When I was pregnant we would buy groceries so I wouldn't have to go during the week with the kids. We try to pick up the kids around 9:00.
I know it is a luxury and most people don't have a babysitter but I encourage you to make time to talk to your spouse. Even if you just have to put the kids to bed earlier and have a date at your house! I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful husband! We cherish our time to talk and the kiddos enjoy visiting with the grandparents.